dogs99999:

My best friend is a middle school teacher and she just told us that she farts on students that she doesn’t like. She like pretends to circle around the class while they do classwork and just stops at certain students and farts in their personal space. It was recommended to her by a fellow teacher. Just want you guys to be careful out there.. Whether you’re in high school or college just…. Just be careful. Especially in the public school system

(via boonjoggle)

23 minutes ago by lord-smaug-the-impenetrable 3,964 notes

estando:

estando:

there was this one time i was at my dentist’s office, and my dentist likes making small talk and all that, and so he was like “how’s life?” and i didn’t know what to say, so i just said “short” and then now he doesn’t make small talk with me

i went to the dentist recently, and he sort of cautiously asked me “how’s life?” and i just remembered to NOT say “short” this time, and so then i said “too long” and dammit i screwed it up again.

(via littlemisspotterhead)

23 minutes ago by lord-smaug-the-impenetrable 92 notes

gothiccharmschool:

sherlockedbadwolf24601:

hyperscraps:

missmonstermel:

winneganfake:

agender-unicorn:

skepticalwitch:

calypsos-island:

twohourartist:

isitsafe:

fandomsbecrazy:

oMFG I just came downstairs and I found my sister with a lighter and I told her she can’t use fire and that it could catch the house on fire. She said that she was doing something important so I asked “what the hell is so important that you need fire for!?” and she told me with serious face ” I am using black magic to summon demons to get the mean girls at my school.” i can’t fucking breathe. I sat and watched her ritual hahahahaha shes fucking 10 years old 

This should be a wake-up call to her parents.

She obviously needs help.

Her parents should to talk to her about those mean girls,

and teach her that she can’t summon demons with just candles.

You need at least a pentagram drawn in a perfect circle

with goat or lamb blood,

and a proper incantation from a book of dark magick.

This is great way to to teach your child early on

about geometry and foreign languages.

Good art lesson too. Drawing perfect circles is hard

dOES NO ONE ELSE FIND THIS EXTREMELY DISTURBING 

Actually I find this girl fantastic. Ending bullying one curse at a time.

She might want to hold off on summoning demons until she’s a bit more mature but yes curse those fuckers you go, girl 

Now hang on, just hang on a moment there. Let’s make one thing clear right now:

There is not a goddamned thing wrong with calling on someone bigger and stronger then you for help if need be. 

If that stronger someone just happens to have tentacles and two-foot-long fangs, well, that’s more the problem of certain mean girls, I’d say. 

Here kid, i drew you a new pal. You summoned a demon, you got one. Sorry i couldn’t put more time into this sketch but his name is Bill.

I love everything about this post

only on tumblr

I will always reblog this. 

(via shiverelectric)

3 hours ago by lord-smaug-the-impenetrable 228,333 notes